


Salvation

by MrandMrsDoctor



Category: Doctor Who, Dr. Who
Genre: AU, Clara AU background, Clara isn't 'the impossible girl', F/M, Kissing, Love, Lust, Pre-Trenzalore, Salvation, The Library, clara's AU purpose for the Doctor, saving river song
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 11:17:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,315
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16136123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MrandMrsDoctor/pseuds/MrandMrsDoctor
Summary: Clara discovers the truth about River Song, and makes an impromptu decision based on her secret love for the Time Lord.(Alternative Universe story line)





	Salvation

**Author's Note:**

> MAJOR AU!  
> Just something that popped into my head, I had to write it down.

The Doctor ran his hands over pieces of the Tardis as she orbited around Earth. He needed Clara to go home; he needed to be alone. He hadn’t heard anything from River in weeks, and now she was out of Stormcage she was incredibly hard to track down. They had agreed, regardless of timelines, they would try and contact each other at least once a week. It had been three, and he had heard nothing. He’d phoned all available lines of contact he’d ever had for her, looked in almost every database for catalogued museum items to see if any were defaced, but nothing. He sighed, tired after his weeks of searching. A small tear fell down his cheek. Perhaps, he thought, it was her time to meet his youngest self. Maybe she was in the Library right now. Of all the numbers he had tried, there was one he did not want to call. The one that would confirm his fears.

River’s crew had just landed at the library when their pod’s phone rang. She raised her eyebrow, not actually knowing how someone would know that number. She answered, “This is Professor River Song speaking?”. The voice on the other end sounded exasperated, emotional beyond words. He was struggling to get two words out to her. “I’m sorry, who is this?” she asked, having only a slight suspicion as to who it could be. “River…” a timid voice replied, “my Melody Pond.” River stood stock still as she heard her real name used. It could only mean one thing; he had found her. “Doctor?” she asked. “I tried to contact you, I sent a message to you, sweetie. I feel I might need your help tonight…” she sighed. “Where are you?”. Understanding where she was in her timeline, the Doctor sighed. “River, don’t worry. A version of me will be there. You misjudged the message, however. But I’ll keep you safe…” he knew he was lying, but he had to reassure her that he would physically be with her till the end. He smiled as he heard her voice trail off into a brief recollection of what their team were doing, like he didn’t already know. He couldn’t cut her off, saying that, because it would give it away. Besides, it would be their last conversation with him like this. He was close to tears. “Anyway, Doctor, I have to go. I’ll talk to you when I’m out, okay?” he sniffed, knowing she wouldn’t. “River?” he asked. She replied with “Yes?”. He held onto the console to control his shaking hands and fought back the tears. “I love you. So, so much…” he trailed off, tears now falling. He could hear her shock in her tone, with him never normally being the affectionate one. River smiled on the other end of the phone, still pleased to here it. “I love you too, sweetie. Talk later!”. And with that, their time was up. The hang-up tone rang harshly through the Doctor’s ear as he placed the phone down. He wiped his eyes and then sunk into the pilot’s chair. After decades of being married, he was now a widower. He broke down in tears. 

Clara could hear the Doctor’s cries, even from her bedroom. She had awoken to them, interrupting her dream as to how she was going to declare her love for him. Without hesitation, she shot up out of bed and went to see what was wrong, throwing her robe on top of her nightdress as she ran to the console room. “Doctor?!” she called out, but nothing could have prepared her for what she witnessed. The Doctor was lay on the floor now, curled up in a ball. He was crying uncontrollably, and she could tell her must have also vomited at some point from crying; she could smell it faintly. He was shaking, holding his head, it was almost as if he had gone mad. She rushed to his side and leant down; “Doctor? Doctor, what’s happened?” she tried to sit him up, but he wouldn’t move. “Doctor! Speak to me!” she pleaded, and he slowly turned to face her. “My wife is dying, and I can do nothing to stop it…” he said, his voice coarse from crying. She smiled faintly, not even knowing he was married at this point. She stroked his cheek. “Why not? Hey, you never give up? Why not for her?” she asked, hoping he would say her name at some point. Instead, he broke down again, crying in Clara’s lap. Feeling useless, she sat and stroked his head for what must have been hours, before eventually the sobbing stopped, and he was fast asleep. 

The Doctor woke up after a few hours. He rarely slept, but he figured he must have dozed off due to exhaustion. He was lay on the console room floor, with pillows and blankets all around him. He smiled faintly. Clara had tried her best to make him comfortable after his embarrassing display of emotion to her. He hadn’t wanted her to see, he was sure he wouldn’t wake her. Alas, not all time could be undone. He sat up slowly, only to jump as he saw Vastra and Jenny stood in the console room with Clara. She had a sheepish look on her face and he raised an eyebrow. “How…who…?”. Evidently puzzled, Vastra stepped in. “The Tardis, Doctor. She is linked to River, a child of the Tardis. She guided Clara to get her to us, before asking for our help”. She knelt down and the Doctor slowly sat up. She wiped the tears from his face and smiled faintly. “And we gladly oblige. The tears stop, Doctor. We have a solution.” 

The Doctor almost fell over as she spoke these words, eager to press on. Yes, he would be crossing his own timestream, but if he could have her again, oh my…  
“What is it?” he asked, and Clara stepped forward. “Me.” She said. The Doctor looked puzzled. She cleared her throat. “Vastra and Jenny have filled me in. I know how River dies and how you have to witness it.” She smiles, tearing up. “Doctor, I want you to know that what I’m about to say is not going to be a decision you have to make, and I won’t hear you protest. You have given me a wonderful life here, travelling with you. But, truth be told, I feel like I’m running away. I have no family on Earth, no career, nobody who loves me. I only have you. When I get old, or if you died, I would have nothing to go back to. I don’t have a home to visit in-between our visits. I love you, Doctor, but now is my time to give up.” She inhaled deeply, calming herself. “I’m going to take River’s place. You deserve to be happy after all you have given to me”. 

The Doctor stood still, stunned. Vastra and Jenny held one another in the silence, emotional at Clara’s devotion to a man she clearly loved so much but would never see the same love in return. Clara held back her tears; they were not tears of sadness, however. She had meant every word she had said to him and was going to stand by it. Of course, he protested, but she hugged him tightly. Jenny and Vastra nodded, writing some co-ordinates down for them to get to the library for the minutes before River got in that chair. Whilst his younger self would remain unconscious, Clara would take her place. He would never know River would survive that day, thus keeping their previous meetings in-tact. The two left, leaving the Doctor and Clara alone. “I…I can’t lose you too…or even ask you to do that.” He said, on the verge of crying again. She smiled, “Then it’s a good job I’m not asking you, isn’t it?”. He sighed in disbelief and felt guilty for also feeling excited at this idea. “Okay, Clara…but first, why?”.

Clara plucked up her courage. She had wanted to tell him this for months. Maybe if she had, it might have made a difference? Or maybe not; either way, she’d never know now. She went up to the Doctor and cupped his cheeks. She stroked them gently. “For what I’m about to sacrifice, let me do this…” he nodded, understanding what this must mean for her and how hard this would be. She reached up to him as he leaned down to help make up for the height difference. Their lips met in a soft, gentle kiss. Whilst his hearts were always tied to River, that didn’t mean he didn’t find Clara attractive. He thought she was beautiful, too, especially whenever she smiled. But it wasn’t just her physical appearance, though. Her bravery, her sense of humour, and her loyalty. He loved those parts of her, even if he wasn’t in love with her. The two kissed tenderly, both crying slightly. He held her by the waist, deepening the kiss. She loved that. If this was to be the end for her, then she would have it no other way. Before her time was up, she had to show him how much he had meant to her, and why he shouldn’t be sad for letting her go. 

Overcome with the notion he would soon have his wife back, home and safe with him, the Doctor found himself deepening the kiss further. He pushed Clara back against the console, feeling himself beginning to lose a hold on himself. He had no other way he could say thank you to a woman who was so in love with him that she was willing to sacrifice her life for him. Clara hesitated, but didn’t really try and stop him. He pushed himself against her body, caressing her sides. She moaned lightly in satisfaction that she finally had the Doctor doing what she had dreamt of for hundreds of nights before. He pulled back slightly, resting his forehead on hers, panting lightly. “What can I do, Clara? Tell me…”. She considered her options. As much as she wanted to sleep with him, she wasn’t sure that would be the best idea. She smiled. “Kiss me like you’re never going to kiss again. Because, for one of us, that’s true…” she trailed off, a hint of sadness now in her voice at the reality of her decision. The Doctor didn’t hesitate as he grabbed Clara’s face again. He kissed her with more force this time, slipping his tongue into her mouth. She allowed him access, gaining her own in his mouth. They stood, embracing one another, kissing, for about fifteen minutes. Both wanted more, that was obvious. The Doctor, however, simply took Clara’s hand. “I want you…but I’d feel like I was using you if we slept together. I can’t shag you and then send you off to your death. They’re both benefits for me.” The two chuckled, seeing the slight humour in their predicament. Content with what had already been done, Clara smiled. “I love you. Making you happy is more than enough”. 

After typing in the co-ordinates and landing, Clara was strapping herself into the chair. The younger Doctor was still unconscious, as he would remain right until the explosion. Clara, oddly content with what she was about to do, had even earnt a passionate kiss from River Song once the two had arrived to explain her plan. She had also tried to talk her out of it, even the Doctor tried once more. But, Clara being Clara, her stubbornness and loyalty won over both the Doctor’s and his wife’s opinions. Secretly, the Doctor had enjoyed witnessing their kiss. But he soon snapped out of it. Now, he had to say goodbye to one of his closest friends. He approached her once she was all ready. The countdown had three minutes to go. He held her hands and she smiled. “Do me a favour, Doctor. Look after her. Vastra and Jenny told me everything; she’s still mourning her parents, as I know you are too. Be together, not apart. Stay out of trouble and live a fantastic life…” she chuckled, “and name a child after me.” She winked and the Doctor blushed, holding back his tears. “My brave Clara…” he smiled and kissed her forehead tenderly. “I’m sorry I never loved you in the same way. But I still loved you, Clara. You were special to me and helped me so much after losing my Amy and Rory… I know how to look after her better now; you’ve shown me how.” He smiled and the countdown announced the one-minute mark. Clara stared intently at him. “Go, now. I don’t want you to be around for this”. He nodded, respecting his friend’s final wishes. With one last kiss he retreated, taking River by the hand into the Tardis. It left just as the countdown finished, and with one last breath Clara saved thousands in the Library. She was at peace, and finally found her purpose. She was the saviour of his happiness.

Moments later, orbiting in deep space, the Doctor and River were kissing passionately in the Tardis. He wanted to grieve, but in a way, he hadn’t stopped grieving since he lost River the first time. After losing the Ponds too, he had had enough. For now, he was going to take advantage of someone finally surviving in his life. Clothing eventually came off and the two made passionate love in their master bedroom, a place he hadn’t entered since Manhattan. Neither cared. They were together and, true to his word, would one day honour Clara somehow. For now, her request for them to live happily seemed to be something they could achieve. And so, that’s what they set out to do.

**Author's Note:**

> Note: it is up to you, the audience, to decide about what happens with Darillium. Hopefully I wrote it in a way that was clear that either of these outcomes could happen:  
> 1- Darillium happens as seen in THORS, the 12th Doctor knowing she would survive to see more adventures with his younger self and, eventually, with his incarnation.  
> 2- Darillium happens with the 11th Doctor, THORS not happening, and he tells her about what they’ll do after the Library. He strongly hints at her surviving through it, even though she reads stories that say she won’t.


End file.
